2 days to go

It is almost 5 am on a Sunday and I am siping tea preparing for the last century of this cross country ride. Thank you to Steve for being my ride along these two days through Vermont and New Hampshire but also for dinner last night. I t was great to see you and Katie. we had diner in Hanover, where Dartmouth is, and there had been a football game that day. The town was hopping and we had a great meal. Dan joined us too🙂

We ride all the way through Vermont and climbed a ‘Gap’ between two mountains. That was some work as it was at 12% for a while near the top. I had to stop a few times but made it up! I wonder if Lolo pass was in front of me how that would go now? From the climb we had a great tail wind, cute towns to go through and followed a beautiful river all the way to Lebanon.

While yesterday was lovely these next two days are going to be a challenge mentally and physically. We were asked to start at 0600 and I had to argue against the pre-dawn departure. It’s too dark and we can’t see the road, so no. We got an 0630 instead so closer to dawn. I didn’t have the most restful night because I am resentful of these many predawn days and hustles through the rest stops because we are the slower group. I am weary of it and tired physically after these many miles. We should be celebrating our accomplishment, not feeling ‘not good enough’ or not belonging to this trip. I have to work on my attitude and acknowledge how far I’ve come and with whom and why. This feels a little like how I felt on the plane after takin my oral boards in Houston. It was so much work, so much time, I gave up so much to do that thing. I passed and mourned all that I missed, my kids, my health, my time, my relationship. I sat in that plane and cried. Was it worth it? Was it all about ego? Was I considerate in my choices? As I look at the next couple days these are also my questions.

Allez Allez Van Doos!